Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Eat Your Goddamn Heart Out

I pride mysylef with so many things I couldn't keep track anymore. I have great friends, I have a great job (well, pays well really), great relationship (mehn, the sex is FANTABOLOUS!!!) and a great family- as the cherry on top of the fabulous ice cream that is Life. And generally, such fabulousness has followers.. hahahahahahahaha

Its not making sense really, the entry I mean. Because the author is having conflicts with the content altogether. The conflict is that the people in focus are a bunch of LOSERS!!! Well, am only pertaining to two people really. But yeah, LOSERS just the same. Its mind-blowing to know that if the variables that surrounded me then were different by just that bit, I could have ended up like THEM!! At that point, I would simply kill my son and myself in the process. Because what these two pigs do makes me sick to the gut..

Back to the entry.. I remember being young once. With a kid at that. I was 21, and to me that is still young. I started having sex when I was 16, twas no fun then really. Let's just say that it wasn't the right time then for me to engage in such activity. But oh well.. Anywho, the primary difference is that I have a LIFE. Back then and kicking until now. I travelled a lot back then, engaged with a sport touring the beautiful provinces of the Philippines. I was addicted to adrenalin. To competition and to winning. I met lots of people that at that early point, I didnt even realize how I was slowly expanding my networks. I was and still am very independent. No one can and would pin me down.. Hmmm.. Unless i want them too.. Hahahahahahahahaha

Wait. Im losing track again. I guess the very gist of this entry is simply to say "Eat your fucking heart out!!!!" simply to send a message that I remind them of what they are not. First of which, to hide behind a man to preserve whatever dignity and decency left in their system. To convince their selves that their relationship makes them complete and happy. How can that be?? One is on a safety-net relationship (the guy knocked her off so she's safe coz she's not disgrasyada.. Elow?!!) and one is on a dillusional realtionship (affair with a married man. Duh?!! need I explain further?!!) Seriously now. I wish I can feel sorry for them but in the end, I can see that they brought it upon themselves.

Dont get me wrong here. Am not exactly the beacon of morality here. And I don't want that responsibility rest assured. And am not claiming to be of flawless character either. I have my share of indescretions- plenty of them actually. But I have enough sense in me not to place judgement on others at mere triviality. My mind says, I'm sorry but really am NOT!! I'm not sorry that I don't empathize with them. I'm not sorry that I think low of them. Because they are.
Character molds with experience. And it defines their descision making process. And I am not sorry that I chose to take care of myself. Chose to actually have an education. Chose my battles well and chose to be me. To be good in what I am and what I stand for. This is not one of those rebel without a cause- angst driven entries. I just know better than them. I know that I have a responsibility to myself, to my family and especially to my son.

And at this point, I TRULLY feel sorry for them. Couldn't realize logic even when it hit them right between the eyes. Funny now really.. I wanted to rant and rant about my resume in Life when in the end, what for??? they just met me NOW and still they can't get me..

How much more in my finest hour????

No comments: