Alone.

No.
This isn't related to the song that has been, needless to say, been barraging every music stations and videoke bars all over the nation.

No.
This isn't related to the upcoming over-rated yet pathetically irrelevant event they call Valentines. ( duh?!! what gives with all the cherubs, roses and everything else?!!)

This is about Individuality. Too deep maybe, but the inspiration for this entry came about just couple of minutes ago when I found myself alone. Alone when I woke up, when I went to work, when I am at work and so on..

Then it hit me. The solitude of being, my thoughts going to places that I haven't been to in a while. Undisturb by company or idle talk. The beauty of it, the power of it. Brings chills to my skin just thinking about it. Now, I find myself smiling, almost snickering really.. Finding pleasure in my own little world.

I found myself unhappy for the past days. For the reasons that I can't even begin to enumerate. I have always thought that moving ahead meant something better. That going further elates the spirit. Well, I did move and went further, geographically speaking but still, found myself questioning " Is this it?".. yes, I 'm in a different location. Different environment. The challenge it brought back then was addicting, overwhelming even but when the adrenalin wore off - there wasn't much after.

I have always prided myself with the fact that I couldn't be boxed in. In any given situation. May that be in a job or a different point of view. I stand my ground no matter what. Stubborn as it may seem but the concept behind that is we individuals should have our own character no matter what. We are additions to any social group (e.g. companies, families, friends, groups) and our participation includes the very person that we are. Our uniqueness. . It would be lying to mold yourself to an idea that was just introduced in you Life. that being siad, yesterday I came across a column about 10 steps to Success and true enough- the first criteria is Attitude ;

ATTITUDE: Your attitude is the strongest (or weakest) aspect about you. It will determine your self-image and how well or poorly you do at everything. No more “I can’t”.

There you have it. As it is documented above, it is still imperative that one comes to terms with itself to determine how far or how short-lived one's destiny is. Though many would say that its the journey that's important - it is still important that you get somewhere. Somehow. It would be stupid to go on a trip and later on notice that haven't gotten anywhere really. Worst, to find out that you are back where you started.

The clutter that has clouded my mind somehow did that - turning me around in circles. Taking me for a spin and giving me an excruciating headache. Then I found myself questioning why I am where I am. I have been contemplating of quitting my job, pack my stuff and head back home and then reestablish myself. But then, when I thought about it, it wouldnt be a wise descision. While that may be convenient, it will be fatal for me as well. And then my second wind kicked in.

I am here for a thousand of reasons. I left a Life that failed me back home. A life that broke me and this was my chance to do it differently. I got my chance. Not many get second chances in life. The variables may be different, but Life goes on as they say. And thank God I found my marbles in time before I made another mistake of letting this chance go. And I was thankful that in my moment of silence, in my moment of solitude God made me see this. And that my friend, is the power of being Alone.

Alone. Indeed. But definitely not lonely. And definitely not done yet.