Its Been Awhile..

I've always loved that song by Staind. Its not really clear as to why but yeah, am more of a lyrics person. But hey, that isnt exactly why I wanted to blog again..

Couple of things I learned recently...

I have learned to slow things down. Usually, I am a speed demon. No more weird turns and no more non-sense. As its turns out, it was a bigger non-sense to speed things up. One tends to miss a lot of things. So noticeably, people who rush things usually tend to have a lot of questions. Like me, I'd beat myself up and wrack my brains as to why things were the way they we're. And I have endless questions that never seem to have any answers at all. Just breezing through the moment when it was available and not really giving it its much deserved attention. Am brutal, yes. That hasn't changed. Am direct, yes but not in haste manner. The destination is often more rewarding if the journey is well remembered.

The game no longer "gets" me. Before, I'd jump to every good thing or any "thing" that comes my way. Lately, I fully recognize trouble when I saw one. Yeah, yeah. when you're younger, there was a thrill that gets you going. Like an addict, hooked up and cant' seem to quit. But not anymore. I sincerely find myself losing patience.

Parang naka "auto save" lahat. Like the search bar in a computer. Once you've entered a particular keyword, it floods you with info that overwhelms you. Let's just say that with all the stupid, idiotic, moronic deeds I have done- everything went auto save na. My logic is that, before the "games" gives you this sense of adventure. Unexplored territory and thus, the human nature to probe and venture. Excited, adamant and thrilled. But with me and the plenty, crazy, insane "adventures" I have had - nothing excites me anymore. Even infatuation. It seems that one day I woke up and simply lost "it". I don't know what to call it really, but its just not there anymore. I dont believe in the "L" word anymore. For me, its so overrated. And I don't like it being said to me especially if I know that it isn't true. No more expectations. No more wishful thinking. No more "that"..

Sorry to be talking in riddles, am simply running as it goes thru my head. I may not have all the puzzle pieces together but I do know now what I trully want and don't want. Weird noh.. But its true...

Something came up and broke my line of thought... To be continued...