Monday, June 22, 2009

Because You Love Me

"For all those times you stood by me... For all the truth that you made me see... For all the joy you brought to my life.. For all the wrong that you made right..For every dream you made come true.. For all the love I found in you.. Am everything I am because you love me..""

You may feel unappreciated, I admit that there were times that I resented you. For being too strict, for not being there, for being to tough and distant. And at times I thought that you were being difficult and over-bearing. I was young and didn't know better, didn't understand better and did everything in my power to leave your side.

But you were there.. And I didn't see that. You brought me a dog, ironed my school uniform, cooked me breakfast, took me to the parlor to get my haircut. You were there to check if I was safe, sent me to school and did everything a super parent would. Even took me and Prince to the beach every weekend, watched movies and taught us all the principles that molded us to the person that we are now.

Although sending me to the best school, me and Prince, was not your idea -- the primary contention for you is that we didnt need to waste so much money on schools to have an excellent education. You've made it to a point that we learned what we can with what we have. With the people around us, the friends that we have, the experience that we have. It wasn't your intention to deter us from formal education, but it was more important to you that we learned from Life itself. To value what was important-- CHARACTER.. I would find notes on your paper, little gifts here and there, at times when you got so comical that me and brother would laugh our hearts out. Those things I missed. The times we would watch movies together, have siopao and eat out. Go around the city in our jeep, being together. That was my childhood, and those are the days that I would always go back to.

"You gave me wings to make me fly.. You touched my hand I could touch the sky.. I lost my faith, you gave it back to me. . You said no stars was out of reach.. You stood by me and I stood tall.. I have your love, I had it all.. Am everything I am because you love me.."

My life has never been about giving up. At most times that we had the luxuries we had then, you've always made it to point to remind us that nothing lasts forever. But the more important thing is the person you make of yourself. Without the glamour, without the riches, without the comforts and the privileges -- to still be whole even when these things aren't around nor available. having brought me up the way that you did made me stronger, more fierce and made me the dreamer that I am. Knowing that all my dreams will come true, knowing that you have never allowed me to quit NOT ONCE in my life. Not having your approval made me push myself harder and harder and harder, thinking that having your approval will make me happy. In the end though, you still managed to teach me the most important lesson : I've made something of myself. My struggles and pains have taken me further. me not getting your approval was never about you undermining me-- but you knowing that I had so much to give and so much to achieve.

"You were always there for me, the tender winds to carry me.. Light in the dark, shining your love into my life.. You've been my inspiration.. Through the lies, you were the truth.. My world is a better place because of you.."

I've not always been the typical daughter that you've wanted. And I know that I have given you more heartaches over the years with the every disappointment that I've given and done. And what's worst is that I don't know to fully repay you for the life that I have lived.. I love my life.. I love our family.. Regardless how crazy, dysfunctional and a lotta mess we are-- we are still a family.. My family.. It will always be you, mama, Prince and Me..

Today, more than ever I wanna tell the world that this crazy, insane, over-bearing, impossible, difficult woman has a reason why I am the way I am. I may have my own family now, but I will always be your daughter; over and above everything else..

I love you Pa, that will never change.. Happy Father's Day..

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