Monday, April 30, 2012


I remember the first time I saw you. You were winking at me. Then reaching for you the nurse said I might get you "dirty". That was the first and last time I allowed anyone to take you away from me. From that very moment I decided to focus all my energy to protecting you, loving you and weathering any and all just for you. The very day you came was the very day I changed. And I didn't even realize how much.

I remember fondly how it all happened. It still feels like just yesterday I was giving you your first baby bath. I didn't realize a tiny little thing can scream so loud I was literally soaked in sweat. Or the day I fell asleep sitting down. And more.

Today is your 11th birthday and I wanted to tell you how me and your dad are grateful for having such a blessing like you. We were literally kids when we had you, and we had our bad times too. You are a blessing to two complete strangers who needed direction and sense of purpose. Daddy and I are not perfect, but we try to, for you because you deserve the best. We may have not made the best choices for you as grown-ups, but we did what we can to make it work as your parents. It doesn't mean though that what you have is any less, rather what you have is what you need for the Life that Daddy and I have laid out for you. It's not going to be easy Babbu, and I can only hope I'd still be alive to be there when you need me but even how great mommy is, that I can't even guarantee. Even how strong Daddy is, eventually you'll have to be on your own. My only prayer is that you remember how loved you are. How special you are to me and Daddy, and regardless what the world says remember that Mommy fought all odds and broke all of these social rules because you do not deserve to live in a world of ignorance. You do not fit the norms. You were never to fit the norms. You are different anak, and I can only apologize from the very bottom of my being that Life isn't going to get any easier from this point end. 

Your Life is between two worlds: the Philippines and the US. And in between these countries you hold two cultures and set of traditions. Two places abundant with resources and yes, you have these simply because you were born. This is what Mommy and Daddy agreed on, for you to have all that is the Philippines and US combined at your disposal so that you would have more than enough choices where you want to lead your Life to. I love you so much Babbu, and this is only what I can give for now. This is what I have so far. When you leave on July, as much as it pains me I know that is where you are suppose to be. That is where you are meant to be. Take with you my heart, and remember to keep it strong. Combine the compassion of the Filipinos with the resources of the US and you will never go wrong. 

Remember Babbu: Mommy and daddy will ALWAYS love you. You have done more for us than what we have given you. 

The day you were born was the very day I was given a new Life. Thank you Damon, and Happy happy birthday. 

I love you anak. 

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